Yes Sir!

My husband has been sedated and on a respirator since July 16. Yesterday, my grandmother, whom I loved very much and was very close to, died suddenly. I have surrounded myself with friends and family, and I know that my family and I will get through this. I am in a bit of shock, and I'm sure not everything - if anything at all - has set in yet.

Like a phoenix, I will rise from the ashes.

I am going to create the biggest, strongest, most reputable talent management and consultation company in New York. My grandmother loved hearing about all of my success and adventures in the entertainment industry. She came to every play I was in, watched every movie and television show, bought every book... she was my biggest fan-- Second only to my mother, who happens to be her eldest daughter.

I'm going to do this for her. Every breath I take, every decision I make, I am going to do it in her memory. I'm going to get my entire family - cousins included - out of debt. I'm going to be Mrs. Rockafeller, which is how we referred to Grandma because she bought everything for everyone, and take care of everyone's needs. My kids, my husband, my mother, my sister will never want for anything.

And it will be because of my success with Cain Casting. 

You watch. Once I'm back on my feet (emotionally speaking), nothing is going to be able to stop me. There is enough bad shit going on in my life that I will never have to deal with it again-- At least, not all at once like this.

Screw you, Satan. Screw you, anyone or anything that tries to eff with me. There are people that would just flop over and give up. That's not me. 

I'm Candy fucking Cain. I won't go out like that.

And We'll Have A Real Good Time,

The title of this entry is ironic. Today would have been the eighth or ninth shooting day for me in "the Nest." It was going to be a good time; a "real good time." I had worked a few days already, and it was pretty damned awesome. The people I was working with were awesome. Tina Fey took time to chat with me. It was a lot of fun, and I was looking forward to having an exciting summer with them.

Then all hell broke loose.

Never wanted to give a ring to someone so badly.

My husband got sick and ended up in the hospital. He is still here, in the CCU at Brookhaven Memorial Hospital. He is on a respirator, heavily sedated. He has ben this way since last Wednesday. Today is day ten. I haven't left the hospital, really. As a matter of fact, I'm sitting by his side right now as I type this.

I pulled myself from "The Nest," as I wanted to be by his side for everything. I want to be here when he wakes up. I feel horrible that I'm not with my children, but my mom is there for them and my sister is in town. Once he wakes up and is off of the vent, I will be better. I will be able to walk away for a little while during the day. But I need to be here now.

I don't think I will ever work in front of the camera again. I am very fortunate that I am able to be here and work from the hospital. I literally got 2 kids cast on "The Blacklist" in the past hour. Talent Management is my calling. I'm good at it, and I can do it form anywhere-- quite literally.

So, my dear reader. please keep my husband and my family in your prayers. The entertainment industry doesn't stop for anyone. After all, "the show must go on." Fortunately, my show can go on by my husband's side-- Where I need to be.