Ya either got it, or ya ain't.

I've been dealing with a stalker since August of last year, and it has just gotten out of hand. This individual has attacked me and my business. She has spread rumors about me. She has spread vicious lies about me. I literally have done NOTHING to this woman, yet I am in her crosshairs. I've been dealing with her obsession of me since November. It's starting to get scary.

Her name is Brenda Landry.

There are so many stories floating around there, I just want to set the record straight. Some man wrote a blog about me that I have never dealt with before, and every lie that he spewed about me sounded like it came from Brenda. It amazes me how people can make snap decisions about another individual without contacting that person in the first place. I contacted my attorney about legal action, and he told me that it would be VERY hard and not worth my time to pursue a Defamation of Character case due to the First Amendment, and this woman doesn't have the money that I would win in a libel suit. It was recommended that I address her publicly to set the record straight.

Let me start from the very beginning... I own a company called Cain Casting & Talent Management. It is a talent management and consultation company. The consultation fee for my company is $500. I have absolutely NO apologies for that. My staff and I work extremely hard, and our services are worth a heck of a lot more than $500. It is a fee for consultation services, not for management or representation.  This post, however, isn't about my company nor my fee. If you have questions about it, feel free to contact me via my website.

Brenda contacted me over the summer, asking me if I would accept her daughter's paychecks to pay for her $500 registration fee. I declined. She told me how badly she wanted to register her daughter with my company, but couldn't afford the fee. I introduced a payment plan thinking that her daughter would earn money and then Brenda would be able to make the installments (which is basically what she would be doing by offering me her daughter's paychecks). Brenda still insisted that the $500 was too much for her. 

At the end of October, I came up with an idea called the "Cain Talent Test Drive" where people could sign up for $50, try out my company and services until they received their first paying job. Once they worked and earned at least $50, the Test Drive would be over-- No strings attached. If they wanted to register with my company, they could. If not, they could just walk away, their money back and then some.

The Test Drive was a hit with others immediately. People started signing up for it right away. After about a week, Brenda signed her daughter up for a Test Drive. She was added to one of the FaceBook groups specifically created for people with my company. I corresponded with her quite a bit about her daughter. On November 17, a little over a week later, her daughter was cast as a photo double in a mini-series:

Her daughter was booked on a SAG photodouble rate, which was $158. The check would be mailed directly to her, so she would get her $50 back plus another $108. Yes, I knew thet she was coming down from New Hampshire, but Brenda knew that the Test Drive was only available for the NY area. As a matter of fact, she was excited about getting a hotel with her daughter (note the smiley face):

Well, I got her information over that weekend, sent it off to her, and she attended the shoot. She got there early and texted me when she arrived, as is required of all of the people that represent my company on any set. When her Test Drive was over, I sent her the standard email that I send to anyone that takes a Test Drive. She told me - well after leaving set - that her daughter was not used and was released early. PLEASE NOTE: HER DAUGHTER WAS STILL PAID THE $158.

Mind you, this was the weekend before Thanksgiving. As you can see from the note above, Brenda told me that she wanted to register her daughter after the holiday. I left it at that. We had Thanksgiving at my house last year, and I don't believe in pressuring people at all. Either people like me, or they don't. They had a good Test Drive and want to sign their kids up, or they didn't like it and want to do everything on their own. Whatever-- I'm pretty easygoing in that respect.

Then the crazy started. Before I get into the crazy, I'm going to give you a little break-- Mainly because this is such a long blog entry and this is a good place to take a place and rest your eyes. Consider this ad your placemarker:

Now, on to the crazy...

A week after Thanksgiving, Brenda started her own "company." She created a website and started sharing it in different groups on FaceBook:

I found it interesting, since I knew all of the casting directors from the shows she mentioned. I asked one of them about her, and they told me that they had no idea who she was. I thought nothing of it and moved on.

Then she started personally reaching out to people, including approximately 70 of my clients. One of these people happens to be one of my best friends, Kevin. Well, Kevin was a bit angry that this woman reached out to him, knowing full well that she had her daughter take a Test Drive with me. (Kevin is protective of his friends.) So, he responded to her and posted it in the Cain Talent group:

From Kevin's post in the FaceBook group, I learned that Brenda had been doing this since September. I reached out to her to find out what she was doing. She ignored me. More and more stories started coming to me from clients about things she was saying about me. I posted on her FaceBook page to get her attention. I posted something to the effect of, "Please stop trying to poach my clients. It's pathetic."

Well, Brenda went ballistic. She posted an angry message on FaceBook, tagging three casting companies that I work with, calling me and my company a scam and then blocked me on FaceBook. It was completely out of left field for me-- I thought she was going to register her daughter with my company after Thanksgiving. I was baffled. I tried to call her, but she didn't answer. I emailed her, but no response. The next thing I know, I get a chargeback claim with PayPal from her for the $50 that she spent on the Test Drive. I immediately called PayPal, and the chargeback was denied and found in my favor in a matter of 13 minutes. Brenda filed an appeal, which was found in my favor in 7 minutes. That was the end of it in my opinion... Or so I thought.

On December 14, I received an apology email from Brenda. I've broken it into two parts so that you, my dear reader, can see how I refute and correct what she wrote:

So, let me break this down for you:

1. I didn't want to communicate with her anymore. I didn't have to jump to conclusions-- She already prooved the kind of person that she is.
2. Rosemary, Natasha and Lisa were three other women from New England that I had never worked with before that also accused me of being a scam. Someone told me that Brenda was friends with them, and I believed her. (I still do, FYI.) I commented in the PayPal chargeback about the three women, saying that I believed that Brenda was trying to infiltrate my company to provide them with information.
3. The "casting calls" I receive come directly from Casting Directors that know and trust me to provide them with excellent talent.None of them knew who Brenda was.
4. I am not educated on Brenda's fee. I do, however, know that several people paid her $50 to join her "network."

Here's the second part of her email:

1. I never thought it was about competition. I don't have competition, because no one out there does everything that I do.
2. Aha! She admitted to wanting to find out what I did and how I did it! So she was trying to infiltrate my company... Perhaps not for those women, but certainly for herself.
3. I NEVER said "until [her] daughter films" she would have a Test Drive. I have absolutely NO control over what happens on a set. It was "until she works and makes at least $50 back." She worked. She earned $158. Test Drive = Over.
4. Yes, I think it is fair. "That's showbiz." She was paid for a job. She went to set. She filled out a voucher. She wasn't used, but she still earned her money. It happens all the time.
5. I never did anything to hurt her daughter. I would NEVER do anything to hurt a child. Ever. Period.
6. She's right-- I didn't care. I just wanted it to be DONE.
7. I couldn't believe that she was offering to both register her daughter with me AND promote my company-- including to people that were a part of her network. After all this, there was no way on God's Green Earth that I would partner with her. I don't think any good business person (or SANE person in general) would.
8. Some of the things I said? Okay, I'll just bite my tongue here...

I replied to her simply. I wrote, "Do not contact me again. I have alerted all of the casting companies that I work with about you. You are disgusting."

Should I have called her "disgusting" in my response? No. I was angry, and I felt the need to get an insult in there. My bad.

Did I actually contact the casting companies I work with about her and/or her daughter? No. I actually didn't. I vented to a very close friend of mine who happens to be a casting director for one of those companies, but she talked me back from a ledge. I genuinely did nothing. I took the advice of my friend, who said, "Candy, she's going to screw herself. Just let her do it to herself. Take the higher road."  So, I did. I never wrote back to Brenda to tell her that I didn't contact anyone. I took my friend's advice and kept my mouth shut.

Unbeknownst to me, my response to her sent her right over the edge. Again, this is a super long blog entry, and now is a good time to take a break. So, here is another placemarker for you:

The crazy REALLY kicked into high gear.

The next day, FOUR of my Casting Director friends forwarded me an email that she sent to them about me. Now, I have never addressed this epic message, so I will take the time to do so in this epic blog.

It begins as such:

• My "at-home business" is actually a different company that I've worked with since 2011. You can read all about working from home in one of my other blogs. That at-home business has absolutely nothing to do with Cain Talent, which is a registered S-Corporation. Also, what is the "fraudulent information" that she was given and by what parents? Where is the "long line, filing dispute against" me? 

• I do not charge "over $500" and I never have. I am not an agent, nor do I act like one. I have NEVER sold a casting call, WHICH IS ILLEGAL TO DO. She was not defrauded-- She received absolutely EVERYTHING that she signed up for. She was angry that her child didn't film-- Something that I had absolutely NO control over.

• I don't know why she is quoting "until she physically filmed," as I never, ever, ever said it. Ever. The "rude comments" were me asking her not to attempt to poach my clients. I didn't call her pathetic--  I called poaching clients pathetic. Kevin called her "pathetic" in a private message. I called her "disgusting" in a private email. And, as I said before, I never contacted any companies about Brenda or her child.

• The only bit of the above section that is true is that I told Brenda that I wrote to casting companies about her. As I said before, I did not.

• This is where it just gets plain weird. I own The Candy Cain Travel Company, Inc. My mother has taken it over since the entertainment industry has been so great for me. Candy Cain Travel has NO complaints against it. As a matter of fact, the company was honored by Sandals with a STAR Award two years in a row. I was a destination wedding planner and traveled the world teaching workshops about destination weddings. The Candy Cain Travel FaceBook page is absolutely still there. I have ZERO BBB reports against me or any of the companies that I am affiliated with. Produce them, Brenda. Please. What I don't understand is how she can bring up Candy Cain Travel. It's just odd. The company was - and still is - very successful. As for N.E. Kids Actors, Brenda's original email to me shows you, my dear reader, what REALLY happened with the group. A woman in the group DID comment against my business, and the other one defended me, saying that I'm not a scam. (I have those screenshots, too.) 

• I'm sorry, what? 

• Annnnnnnd there it is. The pitch for business. The self-victimization in a situation that Brenda created, hoping that a Casting Director would feel bad for her and throw business her way. 

Okay, I'll admit it. I didn't let Brenda know that I didn't contact the casting companies because I knew that she would implode somehow. But this? It's a whole new brand of crazy. Impressive crazy, actually. It's too bad that her spelling and grammar aren't as great as her lying prowess. This email was sent to many different people at many different companies, and at least four sent it to me. From different companies.

This is called libel and defamation of character. 

But, I let it go. I kept my mouth shut. My business was (and still is) absolutely BOOMING. We worked on 49 television shows and 23 feature films since August 2014. I'm a big believer in karma. I kept doing good things, and good things kept happening to me and my business.

In March, Brenda decided to write a review about my company on FaceBook. However, since I have her blocked, I wasn't able to see it. Someone sent me the following screenshot of her review:

Isn't it lovely how she creates her own reality? You can see in the progression of all of the emails what ACTUALLY happened. I had not mentioned her name AT ALL, and this review happens in March. It was, once again, out of left field. A few of my clients saw what she wrote, and defended me. Then a Casting Director defended me, and another wrote a review of my company. I didn't even know that the bad review existed, until another friend of mine pointed it out last week! Again, I ignored it. I literally did nothing.

But, as I'm sure you know, the crazy just keeps coming. Here's another placemarker for you:

Brenda has been the furthest thing from my mind. I've been insanely busy, partnered with several Casting Directors and a Talent Agency so that my talent gets more exposure. I'm working on the Second Annual Cain Awards. Business has been great! I've been really busy in my personal life, too.

Yet, two nights ago, I received the following email entitled "Move On Now. Thank You" from my long-lost chum:

She sent me this message both via email and through the contact form on my website. She used an email that she subsequently deleted so that I couldn't respond to her. I don't know who Gina is, and I forwarded her message to Noel. I have NEVER blasted her name. Truthfully, I feel sorry for her. Moreover, I feel very, very bad for her children. She ruined it for them.

Brenda, please move on. You're embarrassing yourself. And if you insist on attacking me - or anyone else for that matter - you can at least look intelligent with proper grammar and spelling. My company is doing quite well, and you're not going to change that. Find another line of work. Find someone else to attack. 

I do right by the parents in my company. Read the reviews about Cain Casting & Talent Management on the BBB. Read the reviews on the fan page. Just move on, Brenda. You're upset because your daughter isn't a star. It's sad. You can't live vicariously through your child, no matter how hard you try.

And I'll say the same thing I said to you in the "vulgar voicemail" I left for you... I hope you go to church, because you need Jesus. You need good in your life. You need something to believe in. You need light. You need hope.

You need to leave me alone.

We'll Have A Real Good Time!

The world is filled with what I like to call "Dream Stealers." These individuals aren't happy with what they have, so they try to take away the dreams of others. They don't know how to dream. Instead, they choose to attempt to cause problems for others. They try to put themselves in a position where others listen to them, then feed them whatever ideas that they have as truth and fact. They scare people into making decisions that they don't understand.

 

Dream Stealers are the gossips of the world. They are the ones that cause panic. These people are the types to stand up in a movie theater and yell "FIRE!" just to see others react. They're know-it-alls, and convince people that don't understand things that what they say is correct and true.

 

Dream Stealers are abundant in the entertainment industry. They especially latch onto and steal the dreams of parents that have high hopes for their children to be on TV or in the movies. They give advice - whether it is wanted or not - to do what THEY think the kids should do. Often times, these parents have no one else offering them advice and guidance, and their kids lose out.

 

My son, Charles. (Photo: K. Abernethy)

Take my company, for instance. I created Cain Casting & Talent Management because my son wanted to be on TV after seeing me in an episode of Malcolm in the Middle. As a former actor, I knew exactly what I needed to do in order to get him cast in something. I didn't have Cain Casting then. But since I had been involved in the entertainment industry since I was 7 years old, I knew exactly what to do. He landed a commercial for Digital Steam Workshop, which you can view here. Then, I submitted him for a stock photography shoot, which he also ended up landing. My friend asked me if I could submit her kids for work, and THEY ended up getting stuff. And so Cain Casting & Talent Management was born.

 

Cain Casting & Talent Management is NOT a talent agency. The definition of a talent agency is as follows: A talent agent, or booking agent, is a person who finds jobs for actors, authors, film directors, musicians, models, film producers, professional athletes, writers, screenwriters, broadcast journalists, and other people in various entertainment or broadcast businesses.  (Definition taken from Wikipedia.)

 

Do I find work for my talent? Absolutely. However, that is where the work stops for talent agencies. Cain Casting & Talent Management does waaaaay more than get talent work. (And, in reality, I'm not the one getting them the work... Casting Directors ask me if I have anyone on my roster that would fit certain roles, and I send them who I have. THEY decide who they want. THEY are the ones that hire. The checks get sent directly to the talent, not to my company.) 

 

A headshot that looks like me (Photo: K.A.)

I was represented by the Wallis Agency when I was a professional actress in Los Angeles. They gotone audition. All of my acting friends there told me that  I needed to get a manager, but I had no idea how to do so. I got myself more auditions and work than Wallis ever did. I did, however, spend a shitload of money on pictures that didn't even look like me, touch ups, printed resumes and a hair cut at a salon I never would have gone to-- All at my agent's instruction. I seriously spent at least $1000 on photos that are collecting dust in my basement-- A helluva lot of money for someone just starting out as an actor. Considering my father was (still is, I believe) a movie director and was the one that got me in the Wallis Agency in the first place, I thought I was doing the right thing. However, when my agent sent me out on a non-union audition - the ONLY audition she ever got me - and I was a member of SAG-AFTRA, I knew that there was a problem.

me

 

Cain Casting & Talent Management IS a talent management company. The definition of a talent management company is as follows: A talent manager, also known as an artist manager or band manager, is an individual or company who guides the professional career of artists in the entertainment industry. The responsibility of the talent manager is to oversee the day-to-day business affairs of an artist; advise and counsel talent concerning professional matters, long-term plans and personal decisions which may affect their career. (Definition taken from Wikipedia.)

 

I manage everything for the talent on my roster. I've hired three people (Joe, Shannon and Sally) to do the same. We manage the careers of people in the NY metro area, New England, Chicago and the Southeast. We help our talent grow their careers. We lay the foundation for them upon which they can build a terrific career in the entertainment industry. We tell them what to do and what not to do. I personally speak from experience, as I have been on BOTH sides of the camera.  (Don't believe me? Check out my IMDB page.)

 

Cain Casting & Talent Management IS a talent consultation company. The definition of a talent consultant is as follows: A talent consultant works as a go-between, brokering deals between performers and production companies. Along with brokering working contracts with movie, record and television studios, the talent consultant also negotiates a pay agreement for the performer. Typically, the talent consultant provides a photo, called a head shot, or a demo tape to studio representatives in an attempt to get a casting call or audition for clients. The talent consultant maintains contact with the client and the studios and attempts to keep the client's name in front of industry movers and shakers. (Definition taken from WiseGEEK.)

 

You see? Cain Casting & Talent Management does both management and consultation services. Our company's fee is $500 flat. That is the consultation service fee. We receive 10% of our talent's earnings after they earn $750. Talent Managers usually take 15% - 20%, but we take less because we try very hard to get our talent signed by agencies. If a talent agency is taking 10% and my company is taking 20%, that means that the talent is only going to get 70% of their earnings. That's a pretty big hit! We like to be fair.

 

So, why am I writing all of this?

 

There is a FaceBook group called NE Kids Actors Group. One of the volunteers of this group is a woman named Rosemary. Until recently, their "group attorney" was a woman named Lisa. Unfortunately, (in my opinion) these two women are Dream Stealers. They wrote a diatribe about how Cain Casting & Talent Management is "an illegal operation," even though neither one of them have ever had any interactions with me whatsoever. The group had 682 members at the time. Check out what was posted by another volunteer admin in the group:

 

 

This was posted for everyone to see. I tried to speak with the women that were running the group. What she wrote about my company is completely untrue. In that post, she encouraged people NOT to work with me. She was making damaging accusations about Cain Casting & Talent Management. She was dragging my name through the mud. This is called libel. (Definition of Libel: a published false statement that is damaging to a person's reputation; a written defamation.) Since Cain Casting & Talent Management IS NOT a talent agency, it does not need licensure. (Apparently, this woman also thinks I'm stupid enough to not look into a business type before creating a business in the first place...)  The sad thing is that she was preaching to parents that didn't know any better. Parents that that I could actually help with their kids' careers in show business. 

 

Again, I had never dealt with Lisa. Ever. She was not a part of my company. She never hired any of the people on my talent roster. I had never even spoken with her. How did she know about Cain Casting & Talent Management? Simple: Several parents registered their children with my company, and they were getting work. These proud parents posted in the FaceBook group how Cain Casting had gotten their children work.  That's it. When Lisa found out that I charge a registration fee, she went ballistic and posted the above statement in that group. The thing is, I don't discriminate. Anyone can register with my company to get the same services. I don't have to meet with anyone in order to be their talent consultant. I can take on ANY person and help them succeed. I felt Lisa was attacking me in this forum. 

 

I first went to Rosemary, one of the volunteer admins:

 

 

 

Discussing Cain Casting & Talent Management was causing negativity? Parents were thrilled that their children were getting work, and wanted to share it with other parents. How is that negative? It was baffling, really. 

 

Clearly, I wasn't getting anywhere with her, so I attempted to get in touch with the "group attorney," Lisa:

 





 Lisa refused to talk to be about why she wrote what she did about my company. She insisted on speaking with my attorney. It didn't make sense to me. So, I called my attorney and explained what was going on. He, too, told me that he only need to be contacted if they were bringing some sort of lawsuit against me-- And they would be the ones to contact him, not the opposite. I just wanted questions answered.

 

My attorney looked at all of the screenshots that you see above. He asked me if I would like to bring charges against Lisa, Rosemary and the other administrators. He said that, based on the number of people in the group, I could sue them for $500,000.

 

Believe me, it was tempting. Verrrrrry tempting. However, I'm a mom. I have a family. I have a house. I have a conscience. I didn't want to ruin a couple of mothers' lives because they are seemingly jealous of my company and my success. (Dream Stealers.) And, to be honest, when I won the case, how would these moms pay me $500,000? I'm not going to lash out and ruin someone because they lashed out at me first. My mother always taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. I tend to take the advice of people I know and love, not strangers that spout off at the mouth.

 

So, I tried to reach out to another one of the volunteer administrators, and had Rosemary in the same chat:

 

 

 

As you can see, Rosemary felt the need to add the "group attorney," Lisa to the chat. The other admin never even replied to me. And, as you can see, I found out what law firm Lisa works for and I contacted them. From what I understand, attorneys aren't supposed to throw around free legal advice, especially when the ramifications hurt a legitimate company. The paralegal I spoke with apologized to me, and explained to me that Lisa is not a full attorney with their law firm, but what is called "up counsel." She gave me an email address to send everything above to, which I did. I told them that I would not sue her for libel (which would also look very bad for their law firm) if she would take the posts down.

 

Within days, the post in the group was removed. All traces of Cain Casting & Talent Management were removed, which was fine with me. I still don't know why I was attacked in the first place. Another thing my mom always says is "The dark attacks the light."  (Dream Stealers.)

 

So, why am I bringing this all to the surface in my blog?

 

It appears as though Lisa can't stop talking about Cain Casting & Talent Management. Since we have so many people in New England, I decided to create a division of Cain Casting & Talent Management that takes care of those people on my roster in that region. The day that I decided to do this, I posted about it on the Cain Casting Fan Page. Within hours, three of our children were cast in a PSA for the Boston Children's Museum. We made connections with several other agents, casting directors and production companies in Boston. It was a great day for Cain Casting & Talent Management.

 

The next day, Lisa decided to start posting about me and my company in yet another group. I contacted that group administrator and told him I would appreciate if he would remove her libelous posts from his group. He went right to her. (I don't know if the posts were removed or not.)

 

While I was on the phone with a friend that is a Casting Associate last night, my office line cut in at 9pm. Since I had a bunch of kids just wrap from the new Spielberg movie, I hung up with my friend and answered the line.

 

It was Lisa.

 

She told me that the law firm didn't care whether or not she posted anything on FaceBook, because what she posts is private. (If that were the case, what she posted in the first group wouldn't have mattered.) She told me that I own an agency. (She still has had NO dealings with my company.) She told me that the NYS Department of Labor would agree with her. (Um, they've already given me a LETTER stating the nature of my business, thanks.)  The funniest thing she said is that I brag.

 

I brag.

 

I brag.

 

I asked her how I brag. She replied, "You say that you love getting your kids work."

 

To which I replied, "But, I do love getting my kids work. I also love chocolate. And I love to travel. How is that bragging?"

 

10 Cain kids hard at work

Maybe because I get my talent so much work that she thinks I'm bragging about it when I post congratulations to them on the fan page? I do that for the parents, so that THEY can brag about their kids. I mean, I'd brag if my kid was selected to do a one-on-one scene with someone like Jason Sudeikis. (Oh, wait... That really DID happen, and I only posted about it on my personal fan page.) I post the work that the talent on my roster gets so it can be pointed out to their friends and family. Is it wrong to be proud? Is it wrong to want to help?

 

A few minutes into this call - that I really, really, really wish I recorded - my business partner cut in about something that happened on a set that 17 of my kids were working. (I'm sorry, is a fat bragging? Because SEVENTEEN of Cain Casting's kids were booked on the new Spielberg movie.) I told her I had to go and I hung up on her.

 

She won't leave me alone. She won't leave my company alone. She can't stop talking about me, and I don't know why. I don't understand the jealousy and smear campaign. I run a strong, honest company. I have helped over 200 people earn a cumulative of over $100,000 in a year. I work hard. My assistants work hard.

 

I will be contacting the Massachusetts Bar Association about this woman. I'm pretty sure you can't give legal advice, and it goes against some attorney creed. I've got all of the proof I need to show what she did. I've done nothing.

 

And to those parents that listen to the bad advice given about my company: You need to do your own research. You need to speak with some of the parents that have kids on my roster and listen to their  experiences with Cain Casting & Talent Management. If you truly want to get your kids ahead in the entertainment industry, you need a good talent manager and talent consultant on your side. You need someone who knows the business and is an advocate for you and your kids. Whether it's Cain Casting or not doesn't matter-- I'm just telling you the steps that you need to take in order to get ahead. The worst possible thing you can do is listen to people that don't know what they're talking about.

And, whatever you do, never, ever, ever become a Dream Stealer.

 

 

Yes Sir!

My husband has been sedated and on a respirator since July 16. Yesterday, my grandmother, whom I loved very much and was very close to, died suddenly. I have surrounded myself with friends and family, and I know that my family and I will get through this. I am in a bit of shock, and I'm sure not everything - if anything at all - has set in yet.

Like a phoenix, I will rise from the ashes.

I am going to create the biggest, strongest, most reputable talent management and consultation company in New York. My grandmother loved hearing about all of my success and adventures in the entertainment industry. She came to every play I was in, watched every movie and television show, bought every book... she was my biggest fan-- Second only to my mother, who happens to be her eldest daughter.

I'm going to do this for her. Every breath I take, every decision I make, I am going to do it in her memory. I'm going to get my entire family - cousins included - out of debt. I'm going to be Mrs. Rockafeller, which is how we referred to Grandma because she bought everything for everyone, and take care of everyone's needs. My kids, my husband, my mother, my sister will never want for anything.

And it will be because of my success with Cain Casting. 

You watch. Once I'm back on my feet (emotionally speaking), nothing is going to be able to stop me. There is enough bad shit going on in my life that I will never have to deal with it again-- At least, not all at once like this.

Screw you, Satan. Screw you, anyone or anything that tries to eff with me. There are people that would just flop over and give up. That's not me. 

I'm Candy fucking Cain. I won't go out like that.

And We'll Have A Real Good Time,

The title of this entry is ironic. Today would have been the eighth or ninth shooting day for me in "the Nest." It was going to be a good time; a "real good time." I had worked a few days already, and it was pretty damned awesome. The people I was working with were awesome. Tina Fey took time to chat with me. It was a lot of fun, and I was looking forward to having an exciting summer with them.

Then all hell broke loose.

Never wanted to give a ring to someone so badly.

My husband got sick and ended up in the hospital. He is still here, in the CCU at Brookhaven Memorial Hospital. He is on a respirator, heavily sedated. He has ben this way since last Wednesday. Today is day ten. I haven't left the hospital, really. As a matter of fact, I'm sitting by his side right now as I type this.

I pulled myself from "The Nest," as I wanted to be by his side for everything. I want to be here when he wakes up. I feel horrible that I'm not with my children, but my mom is there for them and my sister is in town. Once he wakes up and is off of the vent, I will be better. I will be able to walk away for a little while during the day. But I need to be here now.

I don't think I will ever work in front of the camera again. I am very fortunate that I am able to be here and work from the hospital. I literally got 2 kids cast on "The Blacklist" in the past hour. Talent Management is my calling. I'm good at it, and I can do it form anywhere-- quite literally.

So, my dear reader. please keep my husband and my family in your prayers. The entertainment industry doesn't stop for anyone. After all, "the show must go on." Fortunately, my show can go on by my husband's side-- Where I need to be.